How to drive yourself crazy – keep re-hashing the same old thoughts and feelings!
When unpleasant (or worse) stuff happens to us our thoughts can become pretty insane, especially if we’re angry. If you’re anything like me, you’ll relate when I say my most challenging thing to get over and let go of is injustice.
Someone did the wrong thing by my husband recently, in a pretty big way and it’s been eating at me something shocking. I’ve gone from stomping around being angry (and mentally calling the person some very crass names) to being regularly in tears and my physical body has been ailing, again.
Now, I’m fully aware of the dangers of letting my thinking run off doing it’s worry thing, but even after all these years of practice I’ve found it really hard to stop it this time, due to injustice. My turn the other cheek, pacifist husband was screwed over by a nasty, angry bloke and it’s got me riled – and way over thinking. No, it’s not fair at all! But it is what it is and I have choices I can make, no matter what
With everything that occurs to me or around me, I’m fortunate to have the awareness to realise that if I calm down and look deeper into myself, I always find a reason as to why something is affecting me so strongly. This time was no different and it’s delivered a great blessing as I became aware that I’m tapping back into particular childhood events and situations where I felt powerless against what I considered an injustice (and it may well have been, but that’s irrelevant). There’s also been much fear for my safety associated with the feelings and I’ve felt vulnerable and frightened.
So the solution?
Be more vigilant of my thinking, stop more often to take deep breaths, step up my mindfulness meditation practices, reassure myself that I’ll be ok, be kind to myself and keep bringing my thoughts right back to the current moment where all is ok and I’m safe.
If we spend time re-hashing the past and dwelling on the people and events we find unjust and difficult to handle or, we let our thoughts run off into the future where we’re likely to be making up stories and all sorts of ‘what ifs’ arise, our mental state resembles insanity and our physical body will probably react accordingly, usually with aches and pains, tiredness and often, more debilitating illnesses.
Funny, but my husband isn’t angry and is calmly handling it with his usual strong demeanour and, his body isn’t getting sick! Lesson there Wendy?
It’s hard sometimes, but we can make choices every minute to feel more calm and peaceful and this brings greater strength and Every Day Gets Better.
Injustice is a really hard mountain to climb – I feel your anguish about it. This runs in my blood, my daughter has the same strong sense of injustice and together we take similar steps like you Wendy to put it in it’s place. We do have a choice about how we react or respond to events, most especially the ones that aren’t fair and the impact that has on our whole being. Thanks for this insight, truly honorable in it’s transparency.
Yes it takes courage to face injustice but decide to be happy anyway. How wonderful that you and your daughter have these types of discussions together and use calming practices. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings dear Mary. ❤️
I’m so sorry for whatever has happened with your husband and hope you both find the strength to grow from it, which it sounds like you’re doing already! What good insight to realize your feelings were also from past experiences. I agree with Marisa that having these things come up gives us an opportunity to better deal with the conflict within ourselves.
Thanks Sara, yes, great things can come through adversity if we’re willing to look deeper, be patient and accept full responsibility for our thoughts, feelings and actions. Not always the easiest thing to do, especially when tiredness is ever present, but one day at a time I find is the best way to proceed. ?❤️
Sorry to hear about this stressful issue coming up. I have been having some of the same feelings lately, getting too caught up in a few things that are important but out of my control, and finding that the ongoing stress has begun to wear on my physical health too. Like you, I felt that current events were tapping in to experiences from long ago. I like to think that when we are challenged and all these old wounds are brought up, that we have the opportunity to heal them more deeply than when they were lying dormant. So I wish you the same as I wish for myself – may we emerge from these shake-ups with greater insight and inner peace for the long term! Sending you a big hug. <3
Thanks Marisa, big hugs back to you and thank you for caring and for your insightful comments. ❤️