Do You React or Respond?

I think one of the best benefits I’ve experienced from practicing Mindfulness and Meditation is I now stop, take a slow calm breath and respond, not re-act impulsively. Well, not always, but certainly much more than I used to.

A friend said to me recently that she has realised she’s not getting tougher with age and her comment made me think – have I become tougher with age?  I guess it depends on how you define tougher.  I wouldn’t say I’ve become tougher, but I most definitely have become more resilient and I’ve developed and maintained a great deal more inner peace and calm. I used to get caught up in things I consider unjust and unfair and I regularly became frustrated, annoyed and often angry at what I couldn’t fix.

From a state of anger, (which is always fear based)  we usually re-act, rather than calmly respond and we end up causing ourselves suffering and sometimes hurting other people.  This re-active behaviour usually ends up making the situation worse and can cause everyone concerned to feel bad.  It stirs up resentments and human nature quite often then demands revenge.  I think we would all agree that this isn’t an ideal way to live one’s life.

In any situation where you feel your fears and anger arising, it’s always best to PAUSE, STOP, LEAVE the scene or situation if need be and take time to calm yourself.  Martial Arts experts always say that if you’re being attacked it’s always better to respond with the calm, focused strength of specific action, rather than just throwing random, out of control punches.

Relate this to the last time you re-acted through fear and anger. Did you pause, calm yourself and deal with the situation with understanding, compassion and respect for yourself and others or did you throw random words around, perhaps accusing others and getting yourself all worked up and over emotional?   If you re-acted rather than responded, how did that work out for you and other parties involved? Did you manage to resolve the situation leaving yourself feeling calm and at peace? Did the other person/people feel valued or demeaned?

As humans, our emotions are always there and always will be, but learning to tame the potentially harmful ones and be in control rather than letting them control you, means Every Day Gets Better.