Good, Better, Best………..

When I was a kid there was a phrase teachers and parents regularly stated.

“Good, better, best, never let it rest, until your good is better and your better best”.

I sort of understood it back then and recall feeling inadequate and that I may not be able to live up to it, but as an older adult,  it now makes perfect sense.

Rather than seeing the phrase as an instruction to be your best at everything as it suggests, I prefer to look at it as a call to action to do your best in whatever way you can. We can all be kinder, more compassionate, make healthier choices, be more understanding, more tolerant, more accepting, more patient and we can all make better choices for ourselves, animals and our environment.

So why do many people continue to make poor choices for themselves and their surroundings, especially when they know or suspect, they can do better.

That’s called a ‘habit’ and to change habits we need to firstly recognise and accept they’re a part of our lives and have often become unmanageable. Secondly, we need to learn more about why we have the habit and thirdly, how to change it. Some habits haven’t been with us for long so it can be a case of simply making up your mind to change and exercising discipline, but many are deeply ingrained and require the development of self awareness and willingness to seek help.

It’s a good idea to tackle one habit that doesn’t serve us well,  at a time. That’s a good point to start with. Sit quietly and ask yourself which of your habits is causing you to feel most uncomfortable, maybe stressed or irritable. It may not be immediately obvious, but pay attention to your thoughts and feelings and you’ll notice what needs changing first. But above all, be nice, be kind to yourself and don’t bully yourself.

For me, my biggest habit (learnt and developed in childhood) that I discovered I wanted and needed to change was to learn to calm down. My body and emotions were always fired up. I was a bit of a loose cannon, ready to explode if provoked. Although I was basically a happy, outgoing person, I had underlying anxiety and chronic stress and worry issues and I was over sensitive to the opinions and behaviour of others. I often fired up with a hot temper, which I was always sorry for later.
I’m fortunate I recognised this fairly early in my 20’s as it turned out it was already deeply ingrained and took quite a bit of practice and patience to change. I started by enrolling in a Meditation course and learning Yoga.  I then went on to Tai Chi and QiGong – all of which I still practice in various forms to this day.

I’m grateful I’m now a much calmer person overall and when I feel challenged I stop, breathe and respond, not react. It’s not always easy, depending on the situation, but it is doable and there’s no valid excuse if I don’t stay calm. I consider it my responsibility to practice remaining calm, for myself and others in my life.

Without a doubt, Meditation, Mindfulness and QiGong have had the biggest effect of all in helping me to be more at peace.  Practicing daily meditation since my mid 20’s has helped me to not only be calmer, but has allowed me to notice what else I needed to change about myself and my life and I’ve been able to work on those things with acceptance and (mostly) joy.

One day at a time Every Day Gets Better.