I have always had thoughts running around in my mind that it’s not ok to be too happy while there are so many people suffering all manner of misfortunes. I used to think it would be ok to be happy if everyone else was too. I think I may have felt and taken on the pain of others a little too strongly!
In my younger years, if a friend I cared about was unhappy, I wouldn’t show my happiness but would modify my speech and behaviour to suit their mood and/or situation. It was kind of the ‘done thing’ and almost expected that if someone was experiencing circumstances of difficulty, you wouldn’t share your happiness or good fortune, even mildly. You would play down your happiness and take on their unhappiness.
As an example: If your friend failed an exam at school, you wouldn’t share your joy that you had passed. If your friend was sad over a broken relationship, you definitely wouldn’t speak of how much you were enjoying your partner and the relationship you were building together for however long it took for them to move on – which could sometimes be many months!
In my teenage years I had a friend who was carrying quite a bit of excess weight while I was underweight and very thin. She envied my size so when I was with her, I dressed in loose clothing and stayed away from tight jeans and short tops so I didn’t show my skinny figure too much.
I have been described many times throughout my life as being a ‘vibrant and happy’ person and have even been criticised and sneered at because of my naturally outgoing personality. Despite all its challenges, I loved life and continued to develop a strong, positive and hopeful attitude towards every situation. It wasn’t until well into my adult years that I began to play down my exuberance because of the snide remarks and jokes about my personality and (assumed) character. People often said they thought I was foolish, too lighthearted and lacked intelligence – mind you, they were usually the more serious intellectual, academic types who seemed so weighed down by political and social issues they had lost the art of being happy and were determined to remain suitably serious.
As I studied and practiced meditation and mindfulness and then later, Buddhism, I realised my natural tendencies towards seeking the good in everything, finding great happiness in the simplest of things and doing my best to uplift others, was actually a huge part of my life’s purpose. I became aware that it was my duty and responsibility to share – whether people listened or approved, or not, was not my concern.
These days, I listen to friends and empathise with the challenges they’re going through, but I also share loving kindness, my joy, inner peace and happiness freely. I’ve learnt to respect the phrase ‘what you think of me is none of my business’.
Happiness comes from within (you) and outer ‘stuff’ or other people can never bring true and lasting happiness – the same is applicable to inner peace. Your peace and happiness is your responsibility and cannot be outsourced.
So yes, it’s absolutely ok (and wise) to be truly happy and in order to help others who may be suffering in these troubled times, share loving kindness, peace and happiness widely so Every Day Gets Better.
Thank you to AZ Quotes for this image. 💛
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