All day every day we make decisions.
Decisions about what to eat, what to wear, which way to go somewhere, what to purchase, what to say to other people, what activities we want to pursue – leisure and otherwise, what time we’ll eat meals, what time we’ll go to bed, who we’ll see or speak with in our day and the classic one – how much time we’ll waste! Yes – that is a decision we make whether we choose to see it that way or not!
Some decisions require rather a lot of quiet thinking before a choice can be made while others are made automatically without much thought at all. But what if we confuse these two options? What if we make most, or even all of our decisions without a lot of thought! The way some people’s lives are lived I would not hesitate to suggest that this is the truth for many.
Many decisions are made on emotions which is why good advertisments and marketing work so well. It’s common knowledge in the marketing world that people buy on emotion – as in, “how would that make me feel if I have that?” “Would I feel better, would my life improve, would I be happier?” and on it goes. Sadly this can often carry over into the bigger life decisions which is why so many grown adults still can’t make a choice between (a) what they want to do and (b) what they think they should do, usually in order to please others and “do the right thing” so to speak. They are making decisions in the hope that whatever they choose will be that magic miracle thing that makes them happy forever – preferably overnight!
If we actually stop to think and ask ourselves why we are doing a certain thing – what would we come up with if we were truthful? This takes practice as most children are conditioned from birth by over protective, albeit well meaning parents, to not think for themselves. An adult man (40+years) I knew used to ask of me continually when leaving the house if I thought he should take a jacket. Obviously he could make this decision on his own but as Mum had told him all his years under her roof whether to take a jacket or not the habit was now so strong to not think about it for himself that he repeatedly asked me to make that decision for him. (I didn’t of course – I came up with many witty retorts instead!)
Sadly adults can find it difficult to make decisions about vitally important career options, relationships, marriages, where to live, whether to have children etc and of course, this can bring about all manner of perhaps unwanted situations which will appear uninvited but in actual fact are choices which were made – without clear thinking. Many people will go through their entire lives stumbling from one situation to another never really living the life they dream of and often it’s because they were never taught to think for themselves. Women seem to be even more greatly affected by this shocking training as women can still be seen to require more protection from society’s ills. But given half a chance, almost everyone can think for themselves and make sound choices according to their values and principles. But – values and principles are usually handed down from parents too! In some cases this is great, but in others living your life through someone else’s values can be an absolute disaster and bring great unhappiness.
No wonder escapism is practiced in all it’s various forms right throughout our society. Thinking for ourselves takes practice, courage, committment, attention to detail and a strong movement away from continually getting caught up in the emotion of the moment.
To master our emotions, choose to think and make decisions based on what we want is indeed, life mastery and will bring untold peace and joy.
May your decisions always challenge you to live a better life.
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