Think You Don’t Need Other People? Think Again.

We all like to think we’re independent, but what does that really mean?

I like to think of myself as a fiercely independent woman. I grew up in a family troubled by my dear Dad’s alcoholism and I made up my mind in my teenage years that I’d be a strong person and never ‘need’ anyone. I’ve learnt, over many years of meditation and following a spiritual program, to be perfectly happy and content with my own company. I adore my husband and enjoy his company, but I also love the quietness and stillness when there’s no-one around. I put my phone off, meditate, practice my QiGong routine, then make a cuppa and settle down for a read – even better if weather permits – out in the garden. Total bliss! Much as I absolutely love, appreciate and enjoy the company of chosen friends,  I’ve learnt not to depend on anyone or anything outside of myself for my peace of mind and happiness – I know that’s up to me.

But in actual fact, despite how strong and independent we might think we are, we’re actually totally dependant on each other. The whole human race is dependant on one another!

Think about it.

A human being made the device you’re reading this on. Could you make that device yourself? Even if you found this blog post in printed form somewhere – someone invented and made the printer and the paper. Could you do that?

Someone made the home you live in, the furnishings and comforts you enjoy, your car, the equipment you cook on and the refrigerator you keep your food fresh in. Someone made the shower or bath tub you use, the body care products, your toilet tissue of choice, your toothbrush and toothpaste! The music you listen to, the movies you watch, the books you read, the clothes you wear. Do you shop locally? Online? How would you shop without other people providing those services?
Try finding something (apart from nature and animals) that’s in your daily life that someone didn’t invent and/or create. I’ve tried and I can’t think of anything around me that doesn’t involve someone’s contribution to my life’s needs and comforts.

Now of course I’m not talking about spiritual practices like meditation etc, but even then, to learn,  I originally went to several classes in the 70’s and 80’s to learn to meditate effectively. Same with my adored Tai Chi and QiGong. They were run by humans who had learnt from other humans.

So as a new year begins, perhaps it may be prudent to continue to recognise your own strength and courage, but to also deepen your gratitude and respect for your interdependence on humans far and wide. Try going through your day noticing everything that was made by a human that adds to your life – and mentally say Thank You. (I know it sounds a tad weird, but I love my washing machine! I saw my Mum wash everything in an old copper, by hand – yikes! I’d hate to have to do that. Huge thanks to whoever invented and made washing machines! )

During a Meditation retreat I was participating in in the 80’s, the teacher made a comment that has stuck with me long term. He said “those people you find hard to feel love for, love them at a distance. In other words, hold them with compassion and respect (simply because they’re human and trying to be happy, just like you) and mentally send them loving kindness”.  Remember, the most abhorrent human behaviour comes from fear, self hatred and massive insecurity. Send them love – they need it more than most and be thankful for the valuable lessons in self growth and awareness you’re learning from them.

Hard to have respect and compassion for some, I know, but begin today and Every Day Gets Better.